That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
