Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
it was like eating out sand paper
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Found your dick twin last night
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
