i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Randomize
