Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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