Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
