Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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