I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
