I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
