i wish starbucks made bloody marys
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
