I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
