I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
