I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
