Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Randomize
