After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
