what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
