Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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