She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
