I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
