love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
