i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
