Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I could make wine with my vomit
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
