ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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