I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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