so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
