people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
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So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
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When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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