i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
