Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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