it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
