I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
