We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
