We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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