and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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