Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
