Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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