There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
