I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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