I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My liver just had a heart attack.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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