She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize