In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
