Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
