I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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