After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
