Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
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