he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
