Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
