ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
