love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
