coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
