Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize