Her vagina should come with caution tape.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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