By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
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So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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