So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
That was before I lit my hair on fire
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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