is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
