Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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