things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
