i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
