Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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