I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
It's Friday. Sex?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
